(C) Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

the-hidden-plot-of-batman-vs-superman-dawn-of-justice-593860Brief Summary: Batman and Superman are bitter about each other until they find out they’re both Big Mumma’s boys at heart and unite to take on a bad guy in big religious parable.

^^ I’ve just saved you two and a half hours. The rest of this will contain spoilers.

I have so many questions after this movie. First off, it is not as bad as everyone is saying it is. It’s not the best superhero movie ever, but for what it needed to be, it’s good. I am genuinely curious to speak to people who hated the movie and ask what they expected. What did you expect? Discuss.

Everything you need to see, bar one thing, is in the trailers. And I hate when film’s do this, because it means that they don’t have enough faith in the film they throw all the good stuff in the trailer to make it seem more watchable. Suicide Squad has actively avoided this, to the point where no-one is entirely sure what the plot even is right now, but the trailer works because it gets you interested. BvS’s trailer, pretty much showed you the entire movie.

But let’s discuss the story: it’s alright. I like it. There’s definitely points that story was substituted in favour of big bangs, but its sturdy enough to launch everything it needed to launch (which is, basically, the entire DCEU).

Batfleck is surprisingly on point for someone who got a lot of heat about this role before the films release. I would argue he’s one of my favourite Batmans, purely because it’s so much darker. I also dig on the idea that while Superman’s collateral damage is obvious and can be attributed to him, that Batman has collateral damage too due to almost pure vanity from Bruce and even he can’t see it. Batman brands people here, and that gets them killed in jail, because presumably he wants people to know that he did the good thing by catching a bad guy.

Henry Cavill as Superman…meh.

Amy Adams does not a good Lois Lane make. I miss the days of Teri Hatcher for this reason. Am i the only one to feel this way? Amazing actress but I didn’t like her in Man of Steel, and I do not like her in this. There’s no connection there, she seems to just be in the way a lot of the time, and there’s several things I see her do that make me, as an audience member, bury my head in the seat in front. It’s not entirely her fault, but there you go.

To the person who created the characterisation behind Lex Luthor…fuck you. That guy is supposed to be a badass with method behind the madness and stuff. This version is a guy with mental health issues with enough money and yes men behind him to let him get away with things. It’s a unique take, granted. But not one I could entirely get behind.

He also knows the identities of, potentially, the entire Justice League, considering he has files on them all and admits knowing Batman and Superman’s real identities. (Something Lois figures out at some point, and yet, bizarrely, chooses not to tell Clark).

MVP goes to Jeremy Irons as Alfred. That man can do no wrong in cinema and I will fight you to the end if you disagree. He provides a great stability to the whole Batman side of things, makes great comic relief to bring it back down to earth, and stole every scene he was in.

The final fight was great to the point where they put their troubles aside with one choice word – cue all the Step Brothers memes waiting in the wings. I nearly laughed out loud.

Ultimately the film ran about 20 minutes or so too long, there’s some really cool bits that mean next to nothing, but it’s alright. Not on the top film, but this film isn’t really a film. It’s Man of Steel 2, Batman 3.0 1 and the Introduction to the Justice League.

It’s enough to keep me interested to see what’s the DCEU has planned, though I’m probably not going to watch this particular film again.


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